NEW year 2010 bye 2009

I guess it finally the end of 2009.. i believe i learn a lot this year.. couple relationship, heart breaking shit, battles, tears, graduating, meeting some of the funniest, craziest, loving people in college, Summer job, parties, myspace, etc... and networking. club promoting for crazy love it... for 2010 I'm going to make some major Goals!!!! do y'all hear me..so a hint to y'all you don't.. make some GOALS... look forward to something to live for the new year coming..

GOAL LIST!

1. Car
   
2. live to see my BIRTHDAY 030691
3. Travel out STATE
4. New Cell Phone (T-Mobile)
5. Grow as a STRONGER person
6. Learn from mistake and improve for the BETTER
7. Go back to Church
8. GYM membership!
9. MAC laptop
10. mini Business
11. Stay as long in my current RELATIONSHIP 112809
12. Start back my BLOGGing

well signing out 123109 time: 8:49ppm

OK OK!!

SO i will bw starting back my blog by sept 5. 2009 OR soon..so dont trip ...oo yeah my freshmen year in college is kool.. i like it...

i guess im at that point in my life i gotta be a big boy(like i am already) and just be ready for anything.....

Be the change you wish to see in the world--- Gandhi

i am like a bird...I aim high and fly solo...I speak to learn the truth with my eyes and ears very closely..I walk proudly to see another day. but steady to smile because I was created from joy.

I have many battle scares that permanently scare me but never fazes me ,

from scares where preview of my shed of blood and tears mix in to pink like my flesh that I wears over my bones to protect my armor spirit that within me...I look at my experience and all I can do is smile because I improve from the black and white and seen the grey in the middle. Not many are very lucky to live other day to succeed in a world I call reality with mountain to go over come...I consider myself as alien from this world they call earth because there is one of me just like theirs one of you..... ---keenen smith aka me

something in mind

I gotta stay in shadows til real sunshine comes that involve me to become a perfect creator that the man in the sky wants me to be,

So I can show the world simple things that turns to luxury,

Call me crazy call decretive

but by the time the sun rest..my responds matters beyond anyone who dares to tell me wrong..

I simply watch by day..look by second and count every ounce of happiness that feels my heart.

But from experience that theres another day that unfolds and another chapter to be heard from the hands of the author to mouth of the reader.. To ear of the listener,

whether I want to count happiness than to recognize all my tears I shed that may of not been worth to shed. i fail top realize they may of been,

but now I see but think so I can clear my mind to question myself and ask ,

is anything worth your tears of shed that leaves my view of eyes to my cheek from my cheek to my chin and stay til the wind knock it off like a leave from a broken limb.

This isn't rhyme, or planned speech..this me,

which is me who types these letters to words from soul to heart..

I need check myself because I'm loosing my breath from waiting to become as I type these letter to these words to a creation from this creater...

I lay and lay .. and think about the world today what can I say am I done from writing today..sadly to to say yes I am for today but there always another day to express my letters that will be waiting to become words I need to be the creator I am today.

SENIOR BALLL

050809

SENIOR BALL..WAS POPPIN.. I MEAN IT WAS MORE THAN I THOUGHT...I WON PROM PRINCE EVEN THO I WANTED TO WIN king....( SOME f%#KING bullSH%t)..BUT ANY WHO I HAD FUN WITH MY DATE. MY GOD FATHER CAME AND SO I MODEL FOR THE CAMERA,..(what can i say..nature to the camera..picture soon)...got home 5A.M but i was being a good little boy(but im so bad.. RAWWWWWR)hahahaha..UMM i REALLYY Like my MOHAWK!!

i work hard but this was a bad day

im waiting and im listening

i waiting for something i can bulid off of.. and i see it..but i need it.. up close to touch it....it like i been window shopping..but always been wishing and hoping i can have it..own it and cherish it but all i can do is wait....

short but real.........

boy will be boys.(love my bro)

me and legal me..like yee yee

please dont try this at HOME!!

let it go..I'm me. like weezy( "yung molla baby") . I'm me. Like no other. came in the game 1991. I been rocking j's since a toddler. wearing the retro 7's to be exact(love them shoes to death aqua and purple bust like a nut..eww). Fawk a swagg(shit rhymes with fag) and being a pretty boi. I'm unnamed(ya must not hear me tho) cuz the shit I do is MAD. me rich haha. I just got bread and I mop it up to soak it up with more bitch..why so real? Cuz I'm satisfy with it. My dreams becomes movies that givin 5 stars★★★★★. so where my grammy BITCH!!!. Pussy(meow) is something that I can get wet(make it rain in them draws) with a snap of a finger. speak in my ear with a sexy voice and different language and rub my head..bitch u made a new man out of me(DRAKE-brand new). The word "success" has been over rated and raped from the nigga call cutty(im in the build). I'm looking for the level call "no other but mines". The realest nigga u ever meet is your self. -cutty. Call me the horny virgin that's made in fine CHINA because u only see me on Internet..now suck on a thumb. & think. P.S. if the nigga obama call my mommy a bitch!!

his ass is going DOWN!!!!

pic ..pics....omg legal

i only had one beside me..

it funny to say...

love is still flowing my way..

i stop and think..

why this must be..

then i drop to my knees...

and cry out...please don't take me away from this please.

like they says. once you have it once. you never have it again..

i love how we talk and never argue..

hours has past..days has gone by...

but the period time i had you in my life..

could of been ever lasting..

i lost you but found you at the same time.

i hurt and you hurt.

tears and anger came ..

but by the end i made a friend and a lover..

but now it has end.

i lost a lover

but grew a solid friend....thank you....D.M.S

yesterday..on my little rock

OK..so i was looking at my blog yesterday and on YouTube.com for first time..some reason I'm not a YouTube fan i hate that shit with everything i love. but i saw a friend trying to promote his YouTube..and i was crazy ass bored.. so i was be nosey and check it out...so i seen hella videos and i guess it was him singing..so had hella of them and it was one that had catch my eye...the song was called

i need you now

well= i believe thats the name

well anyway click to it and all i know he just start blowing

words were flow..sound was poppin...had me take another

look who it was..i was damn

my lil homie can really blow.

=)

i will

say he had me shock

on dumb mode for a minute

and had me thinking about going to

chruch this sunday.. can you say a amen..

im not even playing....

if you dont believe me?

well i want you to go to

Youtube.com/ajosiah

he maybe ugly, maybe

look slow.but you need

to look him up forreal

im all grown up...damn what a weekend

reality hit me hard and i love it for some reason..

reality put me in check and me swallow what i was going to

get in to... i mean everything i did this weekend was meant to be....









0. I finally went to the CASINO and making it rain..shit and didn't win a damn thing..hahaha..

thinking i was going to win some big bucks....while my god father was getting a grip of cash like it ain't shit..just winning hella much. i was like ain't that about a bitch... and then he loss it all i was like damn ..i least pull out when i won the third 200 bucks i got....

1. Rollin with the GREEKs up lay back... click was kool....on a Saturday night.....i was feeling myself good...(means having a good time dumb dumb...y'all nasty).... but yeah with my Kendra and Alica and others..went to jaz get together...while we got her fat butt MC-D's and almost shot at.....crazy shit... got to her little get together...and being nosey since her down stair neigbors were fighting..it was pretty funny.....but yeah fell asleep when the together die down..was hella tired and finally got up and got home like 3a.m..then hit the myspace and was getting active with ppl.hahaha what a f&%King loner....for real! getting active on myspace ..who does that..i guess my dumb butt does...then after made love to sheets and made out to my sexy pillow....LOLL......

2. JUST GOT OUT a RELATIONSHIP!!!! 031509 yeah I'm good...actually it was one of the best breaks up's i every had...because it wasn't just a solo thang it was couple thing...maybe because we thought alike or some shit..but we both got the hint....but we good friends..and i cant be mad at it...love comes and go..but i believe that was lush and go..no disrespect but if you can let someone go so fast and don't feel bad or hurt off it..it lush.....shit i realize i don't need to be in a relationship to make me happy... all i need is friends...not them types of friends you hang with..i mean cutty buddy hahaha..yeah right me... me sharing my goods to just anyone ha ha..that would be the day...but yeah shout out to my x babe we had good times...and i don't have any regrets at all just a big thank you for opening up my mind of different things that i thought i would never experience ever again... =' )...but yeah i been crushin on someone for a bit..but i just want to do me for a min and if they have interest in me.. well damn let get interested in each other but very slowly for the time begin... you feel..p.s thanks for the good weekend...and your still good with my bro..hahaha..you bro-in-law









3. CRUSHin on you makes me smile. but I'm get CRUSH from other.. yeah i got a crush...it been for a while a long ass while since i had a crush but i had this crush before my last relationship...but like i said on number 2 at the end of the paragraph..i want to take it slow before anything pops off...but yeah i have someone thats is crushin on me that i never thought i would be interest to..but yeah it crazy ..that's why I'm crazy..I'm not going to get in details..just say that how it goes for now..and if stuff pops off...y'all get a sneak peep...ewww yall nasty but yall want to know i bet..hehehe..but naw i dont get down with the rated -X like that but yeah I'm just chillin and seeing whats going to happen..







4. SCHOOL..what a MONDAY031609..



OK yall was on the phone till 3 a.m something..knowing my ass need to hit the sheet and make love to the pillow and call it a night long time ago..but the convo got juicey and you know when it good..its good...but yeah got up at 6 something... really suppose to be up at 5a.m but knowing damn well its my fault.....while my father coming in my room every 5seconds to wake my tried out butt up and hit the hot water...but couldn't even do it...because my dreams was popping and my sleep was knockin so yeah..but once i got my tail up..i already knew i was going to be late for school the time i was looking at on my sidekick Lx..was all bad.....but it was one of them Monday's you say ooo F%*King well and be thankful for waking up another day......but today i realize i had a smile on my face and full of words to say.. first thing i said to my self damn im tired but its a beautiful day.......havent stop smiling after that.....

BDAY..MR.KOOL GUY

im finally the big 18.... yeah im legal now .. and juice about it..yeah i got my creative recreation shoe on..shitty(means tight)..no one got them..and got my fit but hey im happy..everyone saying happy birthday....really dont need presents.just a hello and happy bday....because words last longer than gifts....it stay in the greatest place ever to study from..learn out of...and use...your brain..but yeah i cant wait for tonight..because pictures..cake..and ice cream.....and partying..mmmmmmmm and on stuff.....yeee yeee..sorry bro..you gotta be 18 or over..and your not..but thank for the gift

Grandma hug

Right now i need a grandma hug.. them hugs that get you out of trouble ..or save you from your parent beating the mess out of you for something you know you did but knew you could get way with it if grandma was there...well i wish i could have one right about now...it funny how you believe when you go to la la land that all your drama and problems go's away when u come back...reality..hell no..it just start right back over..like damn...but i guess mines hasn't let me go just yet..it kind of hard to face it to reality..but i know back in my mind theirs no other way to handle this situation... when your all grown up, you wish you could be little kid and go back have no responsibility...well that's life and facing the facts just makes it easy to get over it....so yeah later...happy birthday babe.....

real beauty

it really is when u look at it.. but today i feel real good.. so many things are happening that's going so smooth... no drama, no problems, no lies.. I'm thankful I'm alive....and realize everything i get from myself or someone giving me that I'm thankful......life is very beautiful ..it just like a seed that grows in rich soil and breaks through its journey to see sun light and the stretch and grows to a beautiful flower.. but in reality not all stories end like that..not to a happy ever after..not willing to fight for what they want but willing to give up ... giving up so easy. because of experiencing failure to many times makes you think negative...but if sit and think like a strong mined people you are..then there no turning back. but the thing is that people fail to realize that your going to falls within your journey to get your happy end ... because if u didnt then u wouldnt never know what a happy end is

since you would have

one all the

Time

THE END

DETENTION or 2 day off of school

man i was like WTF when he told me i got a detention...thank god i didnt say anything thing smart..well not out loud..because really this what i was thinking in my BRAIN///mother***er, you big 3732748324#$#$#@$%%$^%$^%$^%$^%$^#$^%$#%%$#%#$%$#%@#$%@#$#$#$@#$&^....

just little preview of what i had in mind in my head.. so now it after school ..finding out detention is to 2:30-4pm..I'M like WTF is wrong with y'all people? so y'all really have no life and stay after school and watch kids sit in there seats like a damn loner.. i should recommendb yall a real life.....me i was slapping my i-pod touch and texting to the baby on the sidekick..and the other student was cleaning the room...number one..i be damn to clean a class room i didn't mess up ..because it didn't say i was assign to clean and that why we have janitors for..they get paid...but really i was disappoint that i got detention because really i haven't had it since freshmen year and at school I'm the go to guy or someone who is represent in good way and never do nothing wrong..well sometimes but you know what i mean but really i was little mad..but I'm over it...just say I'm never try to go back to that dusty class again with them loners ..i hate to say it but it true......

i Finally found my (I WONDER)

i had a armor steel plate covering my heart from damage..the worst pain i can ever feel in this world...Heart Broken....everyone feel it once in there life time..i had comes and go's of lush but not love....but nothing like this..at a moment i was going to give up in LOVE... but you came along and my armor drop to my feet so easily that it scared me and you stole my heart and all i can get smiles, hopes and daydreams.. from you...it funny how we first met...we where at each other neck like cat and dog...(ARRGG!!)...i was damaging you with my words to cover how i felt to you and you where taking the blows by blows(Let get READY to RUN Bowl) you had nothing to response back, because how u felt for me so deeply......it made me thought alot how u got me..i use be at the mall checking out new meat..but now when i go. i cant even notice them because i know what i got good at home(home sweet HOME!! LOL).. and there no point if you got something so great waiting for you at home to mess it up......I'm in that type love with you that all i do is write and think about you...funny to say i need to have that type of love phone plan ..because to be honest..baby you killing my mintues to death with are lovely CONVO ..hahaha..but it all worth it for my other half...i look back at are arguement and when we went at it..it like for 10min then forgotten in less than 10 seconds......it hard to be mad at someone who can make you want to slap them at one moment and the next moment make me smile to ear to EAR!...

but yeah i have no mores i wonder because we made it OFFICIAL

FEB 26 2009 11:11pm

Thursday night

i found MY i wonder

do i need to say more..

THE END

ROLLERcoaster!!! take me AWAY!

i just cant wait to get on the road again....listening to this crazy ass soundtrack of "J U N O"...? really i don't know about the movie but really every time i listen to these songs i feel like im silly with my baby right next too me..funny because it like a BIG ass slow Person who deaf tone who sing these songs!!!

but i bought a ticket to the ROLLERcoaster of LOVE! and I'm enjoy every bit of it...if funny people ask what do u know about love..but when u really DEFINE that they call 1-800-8IN-LOVE!! CAll now! sTUFF it different Meanings..not everyone going to like you response but yeah..who cares some people are going to say lush+puppy love, young love= or WTF u want to call it or maybe call it..only just for the moment! haha just for the moment sound like one nightstand...but yeah

ROLLERcoaster!!!RUSH!!! WEE!!

typing and writing

under pressure. im hopeless. i scream for help but no one hears. hopeless to say . can i over come this today..thoughts and wonders flying by..to one end out the other. but none is the right answer to my jounral.. should i go left or should i go right.... confuse? yes? so am i ... that why i try to find the answer thats why... i try to realize what i am saying whlie i type this . but really all i want to do is try to rhyme... i laugh and smile while really inside.. i want to cry and die.. damn really.. im spilling my heart and soul to the spirit that is within me.. please lord ..give a sign that i wonder if i can ever be so greatful ...

Yeah..so that why I sit back..with my feet up and my shade over my eyes and look past the building while the sun is going to rest and me waiting for someone of me dreams. that come out of no where and grab my attention of respect and honestly and make me smile and laugh and relax while I'm in there present ..and feel careless of my surrounding while this dream repeats over and over..I sit and weep from the dream I see and wake up and see that there no were to be ..so I try to hold my hope and pride for that day to be